So I live a very weird existence at times. I work third shift at a boarding school. I love my job. I provide multi-faceted support to the school. I'm the night watchman, the nighttime butler, the nightmare consoler, the morning facilitator, the occasional morning kitchen manager, and pretty much anything else my superiors ask me to do. That's all cool with me. Like I said, I love my job.
But it has its quirks too. In order to adequately provide the best safety, security, and care to my students, I sit on a landing - all night - in the dark. At times, it scares my students. If one of them gets up in the middle of the night and walks into the landing area, they see me sitting there in the dark. They usually ask me whatever it is they need to ask right away, but you can see in their squinting eyes that what they want to ask is, "Why are you just sitting here in the dark? Don't you think that's weird?" Of course, they don't ask, but they want to. And maybe it is weird. My co-staff, who works the nights I don't, used to sit in an office all night with the light on - it's on a different floor so the lights don't bother the boys. He now sits on the landing as I do - in the dark - most of the night.
That's a really weird introduction to this post. But here goes.
Scripture says that men love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil. So many believers I know who learn of my nighttime predicament quote that passage to me in a jesting way. No harm intended. But I can tell you this - the imagery used by Christ in that passage is right on. As I navigate through the hallways of the boys' floor at night using my head lamp with a red night vision light, I often psych myself out. "What's around this corner? What's that noise? Who's walking behind me?" These are questions I find myself asking a lot. (So I might be a bit paranoid). But in reality, those are not bad questions. By its very makeup, darkness conceals. My comfort is usually restored when I shine my light at the area in question because only then can I truly see what's there and what's not there. If I had my way, I would leave a light on all night so I could see at all times, but that's not best for my students' sleeping. So I'm content to shine the light while I walk in the darkness.
Unfortunately, those who live in spiritual darkness have no light to shine at their choosing. They walk in complete darkness, and according to Jesus, they like it that way. They will sacrifice their own ability to see what lies in front of them in order to conceal the secret thoughts and habits of life. They know light reveals and they don't want that. Yes, we as believers can shine the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ to show them the end of their way and the better (and only) Way to have life. But they don't have at their disposal a headlamp or flashlight to shine for themselves. This is sad to me. Not because I believe God is unjust in not giving them that light - He has - but because they willingly leave themselves there.
I know many people (family and friends) who continue to choose this darkness because they don't want to give up the lifestyle that would be exposed by the light of Christ. I guess the belief is that there's time - what a damning belief. Christ tells them that it's not future judgment they should fear but the present condemnation. That's right - for those who have not obediently placed faith in Christ alone for salvation, condemnation is a present reality. And they are too blinded to see it! Would to God that they would see it. I pray God will open their eyes and hearts to the gospel.
I trust God will do that which pleases Him to do. I believe in His sovereignty. I believe in His mercy and goodness and I believe in His justice and holiness. The Apostle Paul desired so badly that the Jews, his kinsmen, would be reconciled to God. But He also recognized that it didn't matter how badly he desired their salvation. It's not up to those who desire others to be saved nor those that work hard at evangelizing others. It's up to God to do the work in hearts. This, at times, has been hard for me to accept. But I have come to not only accept it, but to pray earnestly for it, and to be comforted by it. If it were up to me, I would have few relatives and friends in glory because I cannot save anyone. But since it's up to God, I choose to boldly proclaim the gospel with my voice and strive, by grace, to live it out in my life. This is not necessarily an easy place to come to, but because it pleases Him, He continues in me the good work begun.
If you are a relative or friend of mine reading this post and you are trusting yourself, your own good works, or any thing other than Christ for your salvation, I want you to know two things. First, I had no one specifically in mind while writing this post. Sure, I thought of a few people, but that's a natural outflow of my prayers - this is not a jab at anyone. Second, you can turn from your own way to The Way today. Jesus Christ said that any who come to Him would not be cast away or turned away. If you are clinging to your lifestyle I want you to know that your lifestyle ends in death. The Bible says that every man wants to go his own way, but the end of that way is death. So I'm not picking on your lifestyle, but any lifestyle that isn't directed by the Spirit of God through salvation. Will you choose today to leave the broad path that leads to death and join the narrow way that leads to life? Is the Spirit of God urging you, convicting you, trying to begin in you a good work?
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